Clients often come into my office and state that they have a sex addiction. Much of the time this is self- diagnosed or determined by a spouse/friend/family member. However, what I often find is not a sexual problem at all, just a higher than average sex drive and/or a sex negative environment.
What exactly is problematic sexual behavior? Who decides whether watching 3 hours of reality shows on TV is normal, but watching two hours of porn on the internet is an addiction? What if the person is productive in their jobs and relationships, then why would some still view the latter as problematic?
I am not saying that sexual behaviors cannot become compulsive or problematic. We know they absolutely can. But, I see that there are several problems with the need to diagnose a sexual addiction so readily.
First of all there is no such designated diagnosis formally recognized by the American Psychological Association. When dealing with other addictions such as drug use, the word used is "dependency" instead.
Another problem are precisely these types of questionnaires that exist which presume sexual addiction as a finite measurement, and do not take into account that healthy sexual expression comes in a wide variety of forms, functions, frequency, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings which exist on a continuum rather than in specific point.
Addiction treatment, support groups like AA, etc.. also take away personal responsibility for the choices we make. A person can blame their addiction for their behavior instead of having to take the responsibility themselves. Practitioners who work with sex addiction have been known to encourage fear, and a lack of power over sexuality. They often treat the compulsion, like an addiction, without understanding the individual in an appropriate context. They often forget that sexuality is complex, complicated and often not clear cut.
Add to all this the lack of proper sex education or ability to discuss sexual issues openly and this only feeds the shame and public ignorance about sexuality. This makes it easy to spread harmful myths about sex and allows ignorance about issues such as masturbation/homosexuality/pornography to persevere.
Human sexuality is complex and varies from person to person. Treating clients with problematic sexual behaviors requires an understanding of the wide range of healthy sexual expression and behaviors, and an understanding of what is being affected in the individual's life and surroundings in order to determine the root of the problem. Sex therapy and/or sex counseling can be a good place to start.ARE YOU ADDICTED TO SEX? TAKE THE QUIZ NOW!!!
