How to recognize if your relationship is in danger before hitting
critical mass..
Far too often couples and/or individuals present in my office when their
relationship is on it's last thread. After trying everything else and/or
assuming the relationship would improve on it's own for far too long, and
often after a lot of the damage has been permanently done. I hate to use
the word permanent, but this is usually determined by the partner who has
had enough and is not willing to tolerate anymore whatever it is that is
lacking or happening in the relationship.
Here are some tell-tale signs that your relationship may be in danger:
1. Constant fighting. Do you and your partner fight more than before, and
to the point where it happens several times a day? This is danger sign
number one...
2. Nit-picking. Picking at every move your partner makes in an of itself
can single-handedly push your partner away and end the relationship. You
need to ask yourself why you are doing this? Nit-picking can indicate
something much deeper: anger about something bigger, and/or dissatisfaction
with something else. Figure out what this bigger issue is and address it
correctly before the nit-picking shows your partner the door.
3. Spending less time with each other. Do you or your partner desire less
and less to spend time together? If this has changed significantly from
before, it could be an indication that something is wrong.
4. Changes in communication or intimacy: These can be small changes like
less hand holding, kissing or cuddling, to a complete lack of sexual
contact and intimacy. If these have or are considerably disappearing, you
and/or you're partner could be feeling neglected, and this could be a real
danger sign.
If any of these sound familiar to you, your relationship may be headed
towards danger. Remember that relationships ebb and flow, and there is no
perfect relationship, but when the ebb's become more frequent then the
flows it is time to take a serious inventory together and determine how to
make changes. Change is necessary for a relationship to work. And, with
that said relationships do take a lot of work. So, if you want yours to
work, start talking to your partner now.
Remember psychotherapy, couples counseling, and sex therapy are all great
avenues to get the ball rolling if you are feeling stuck.
